The truth is: I am not funny. I am very good looking. Ok, one of those is a lie.
I am actually kinda funny. But it takes a lot of work to be funny. Not funny he hee, but funny ha haa.
For instance, when you read one of my posts, which I am going to assume you have read every one of my posts and not just the ones with pictures of shirtless men and women with great legs, you read it in about a minute or less, and your mind assumes or processes that I wrote it that quickly. But that is far from the truth, as any good blogger can tell you. So tonight, I will show you my time line of my blog.
It is currently 8:29 and I have nothing else to write, so now I must think of something.....
It is now 8:48 and I still have no subject... maybe.... no.... hmmmm
Ok, now it's 9:12. I have helped fold laundry and put it away. Put away leftover dinner. Got girls to bed. Maybe there'll be something funny on Facebook that will inspire me.
9:17, a birthday for someone on facebook, buncha stuff about Texas/Alabama. Hmmm... Cat is licking herself behind me. Which reminds me.... the term "porn" did not increase my hits, maybe because my blog hasn't been tagged on any of the search engines yet, so keywords are useless. So no sense in bringing up topics about sex and such.
9:20.....
9:22, what about talking about another photographer.....
9:30, abandoned that idea. Maybe I'll go snuggle and pillow talk and see if that brings up any ideas....
10:08, played Scrabble on cellphone against Angela. Both too tired to finish so she went to sleep and I thought I might come up with something to write. No luck. So I guess I will end it here. Maybe if I have a great dream I can blog about that... or hey... what if I took some photos and uploaded them... that would make a great post....
10:11, general proofread and edit of my post. See y'all in the morning.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Am I a Jinx?
I happen to mention Gary Coleman in my blog the other day and now he is in the hospital. I also mentioned David Hasselhoff and now he is quitting his show. Wassup with that?
So beware Luis, I keep mentioning you, and it always happens in threes......
On the plus side, David Hasselhoff Potatoes have a request in, so follow the link. These are not exactly what I had, Michelle tweeks the recipe as needed, but it'll be close.
On the other comment made by the same person in Massachusetts, I was in a film by Judy Trudell called "ManFast" about a group of women who fast from men for a project for 90 days. When a millionaire man finds out he offers a million dollars to the first man to break the fast. I got to be in a scene with Erin Gray, my childhood crush, and even 20 years later she still has some sexy legs (shhhh). Anywho... where was I.... um... oh yeah... So the movie was in limited release and then went to DVD, but I was never able to get a copy. I tried for years to obtain a copy, but was unsuccessful. I finally found an article about it having been purchased by Adam and Eve (a porn distributor) and started to wonder about the film I was in. Needless to say it was a great icebreaker. "Hey did you know I was in a porn?" Anyways, still couldn't get a copy, but then I found on IMDB.com that it was distributed in the US as "Holding Out" and was available on Netflix. So I put it at the top of my queue. When it arrived I got out the cherries and whipped cream and then was thoroughly disappointed by the A: horrible acting, 2: bad script, III: the fact that I look like a total goofball, four: it was not even close to what I expected, and to top it off, the people on the cover of the CD don't even appear in the film. The whipped cream melted, unused and the cherries were eaten by the cat. Now I don't even have an opening line for an icebreaker anymore, "Hey did you know I was in a low-budget indy chick flick with a badly written script and terrible acting?" I can see the people rolling their eyes now.
Anyways, back to photography. Did you know I shoot photos? Bet you can't tell by the subjects I talk about in my blog. I bet the fact I wrote the word "porn" means I get about a hundred hits tonight. Hopefully they will be bored looking at the David Hasselhoff photo in the last post and click on some ads.
Last subject of the night, thought I would at least mention something photo related. Jeanell Norvell is a photographer over on iStock who has some tremendous ideas when it comes to photos. She is an inspirational person, too. She started running 5 kilometers a day using a app that posted on facebook about her progress. I was so inspired I decided I wanted to run 5K a day, too. But you know me... (lazy)... so I watched as she trained for the 5K, and the closest I came to running is when my potholder caught fire. Her husband is also a talent, he can fold paper. I know this sounds like a kindergarten talent, but if you saw the amazing things he can make with a piece of paper, it'd blow your mind.
Ok, time for bed. I am guessing, and I am probably going to be pretty correct, that tomorrow's blog will be a late one too. So, until tomorrow evening.... here's Erin Gray....
So beware Luis, I keep mentioning you, and it always happens in threes......
On the plus side, David Hasselhoff Potatoes have a request in, so follow the link. These are not exactly what I had, Michelle tweeks the recipe as needed, but it'll be close.
On the other comment made by the same person in Massachusetts, I was in a film by Judy Trudell called "ManFast" about a group of women who fast from men for a project for 90 days. When a millionaire man finds out he offers a million dollars to the first man to break the fast. I got to be in a scene with Erin Gray, my childhood crush, and even 20 years later she still has some sexy legs (shhhh). Anywho... where was I.... um... oh yeah... So the movie was in limited release and then went to DVD, but I was never able to get a copy. I tried for years to obtain a copy, but was unsuccessful. I finally found an article about it having been purchased by Adam and Eve (a porn distributor) and started to wonder about the film I was in. Needless to say it was a great icebreaker. "Hey did you know I was in a porn?" Anyways, still couldn't get a copy, but then I found on IMDB.com that it was distributed in the US as "Holding Out" and was available on Netflix. So I put it at the top of my queue. When it arrived I got out the cherries and whipped cream and then was thoroughly disappointed by the A: horrible acting, 2: bad script, III: the fact that I look like a total goofball, four: it was not even close to what I expected, and to top it off, the people on the cover of the CD don't even appear in the film. The whipped cream melted, unused and the cherries were eaten by the cat. Now I don't even have an opening line for an icebreaker anymore, "Hey did you know I was in a low-budget indy chick flick with a badly written script and terrible acting?" I can see the people rolling their eyes now.
Anyways, back to photography. Did you know I shoot photos? Bet you can't tell by the subjects I talk about in my blog. I bet the fact I wrote the word "porn" means I get about a hundred hits tonight. Hopefully they will be bored looking at the David Hasselhoff photo in the last post and click on some ads.
Last subject of the night, thought I would at least mention something photo related. Jeanell Norvell is a photographer over on iStock who has some tremendous ideas when it comes to photos. She is an inspirational person, too. She started running 5 kilometers a day using a app that posted on facebook about her progress. I was so inspired I decided I wanted to run 5K a day, too. But you know me... (lazy)... so I watched as she trained for the 5K, and the closest I came to running is when my potholder caught fire. Her husband is also a talent, he can fold paper. I know this sounds like a kindergarten talent, but if you saw the amazing things he can make with a piece of paper, it'd blow your mind.
Ok, time for bed. I am guessing, and I am probably going to be pretty correct, that tomorrow's blog will be a late one too. So, until tomorrow evening.... here's Erin Gray....
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
David Hasselhoff Potatoes
I have almost as many readers rereading yesterdays post as I normally have reading the new stuff. Sorry about the late, late post. Too tired this morning, short on time. After work, went to Jon and Michelle's for our new "New Recipe Tuesday" day, where we take turns making new recipes on Tuesdays. Tonight was Michelle, she made some pretty good meat, great salad, rolls, amish corn, and a great little item she called David Hasselhoff Potatoes (actually Haselbeck Potatoes, but she likes to watch her husband turn red when she mentions her Knight Rider hunk).
So anyways, after mentioning my blog on the Shutterstock forums, I ended up with my most read day ever. I would also like to welcome three new countries to my readership, including one in Asia, Malaysia
Selamat datang ke blog saya, 500 Photos. Anda berhutang saya satu burrito takut dan tujuh ribu dolar dalam bil-bil kecil.
Now some sad news, Miami, Florida has overtaken Bevery Hills, California as my second most read city, not including cities with relatives. I was hoping Nathan Fillion was reading my blog, but musta just been Gary Coleman. BTW, if you are a celeb and are reading my blog, you automatically get put into the movie about my blog if you can prove you are who you say you are.
Now to the disappointing news. Uploaded two photos, both rejected. *sigh* Oh well, can't win them all.
BTW, have not kept any of Angela's resolutions for me, but Luis said that was ok.
Speaking of Luis, he mentioned to me that he went to see Avatar in 3D and that it was superb. He also mentioned he had to pay 8 Euros to see it. I am a little sketchy on the conversion rate, but I believe that is roughly $497.84 American, or $497.85 Canadian. So for you Americans, and Canadians, eh, be proud that a ticket is only roughly $10 here (and no subtitles).
With Valentines around the corner, I guess I should find my heart shaped boxes and start photographing them, even though I probably already missed the boat with most buyers. Should start thinking about Easter now.
Alright, I'm going to leave it at that. Don't forget to call your friends and enemies in Africa, South America, Australia and Antartica. I want all the continents under my belt by the end of the week, so get busy. Blog points at stake.
Good Night everyone. I'll get the recipe for David Hasselhoff Potatoes for whoever wants it.
Monday, January 4, 2010
And the results...
100% in favor of me, with a sidenote warning to watch my back while I'm sleeping. Thanks to Luis, who now has an amazing lead of 3 blog points.
Uploaded 5 photos last night, one rejected for possible copyright infringement, another for focus, but I had three accepted. So my total is now 209. 291 photos to go with 361 days to go.
...
...
...
I am now staring at my keyboard trying to figure out what to say.
...
Avatar is #4 alltime. On pace for #2 easily. Could even be #1 if they keep up their amazing pace. I want to see it again but this time in 3D.
...
...
Had pumpkin chili for dinner last two days. Would have probably finished it one day, but you can only eat so many beans before... you know.
...
Wow, this may be the dullest post I've had yet. Ok, I'll talk about a photographer. Dave Black is a master of light painting. A technique where you have your subject immersed in darkness, take a long exposure and "paint" the scene with flashlights or other kinds of lighting. I'd show a picture here but he has his protected, so if you wanna see an example, go to his site and check it out. Another workshop I would love to attend. I did try my own attempt once:
Uploaded 5 photos last night, one rejected for possible copyright infringement, another for focus, but I had three accepted. So my total is now 209. 291 photos to go with 361 days to go.
...
...
...
I am now staring at my keyboard trying to figure out what to say.
...
Avatar is #4 alltime. On pace for #2 easily. Could even be #1 if they keep up their amazing pace. I want to see it again but this time in 3D.
...
...
Had pumpkin chili for dinner last two days. Would have probably finished it one day, but you can only eat so many beans before... you know.
...
Wow, this may be the dullest post I've had yet. Ok, I'll talk about a photographer. Dave Black is a master of light painting. A technique where you have your subject immersed in darkness, take a long exposure and "paint" the scene with flashlights or other kinds of lighting. I'd show a picture here but he has his protected, so if you wanna see an example, go to his site and check it out. Another workshop I would love to attend. I did try my own attempt once:
Never could get it quite right, but practice makes perfect and I hate to practice.
BTW, some site stats, yesterday was my 2nd most read post yet. I have now been read in 11 countries, all of them in Europe or North America, so if you know anyone in Asia, South America, Africa, Australia, or Antartica, give them a ring and tell them to read my blog at least once (and if they do only read it once, have them read one of the better posts).
Well, the girls are up now, so I must go protect anything of value before I let them loose.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
5th Christmas?... Lost Count
Ok, had 1st Christmas at Jon and Michelle's. 2nd Christmas was at home with the kids before they left for Ohio. 3rd was in Ohio with Angela's parents. Now just had another with the kids opening their Grandma's and Aunt Robin's gifts via webcam. So only 4 Christmas's, guess I had too much eggnog. Sure felt like 5. If any of you want to bring me lots of gifts, we'll broadcast it and make it #5. I would like a 50'" Plasma TV and the Firefly Series on DVD.
But back to photography. Didn't sell any photos on Shutterstock yesterday, ending my pitiful streak at 6. No uploads, but I did make an effort, but I have a halfway valid excuse what is slowing me down. The TV is broken and is being sent out for repair, so we watch DVDs or Netflix streaming on the computer. So I can't work on here, so that is my excuse. I did start working on a few, and Photoshop is still open, just haven't finished them. (Angela is saying that is not a valid excuse, but this is my blog, so there)
She made me resolutions, which I am not sure are valid because I didn't make them for myself.
1. Take trash out daily. All cans.
2. Keep Pans Cabinet Straight and ordanized. (BTW this is EXACTLY as she has it)
3. Take and upload 3 new Photo's a week
4. Exercise 3 times a week
5. Be More Romantic
6. Will not make fun of Angela on my blog or will have to find a new home.
***Subject to additions when I, Angela desire!
So, the vote needs to be cast. Comment yes or no as to whether these are valid. Blog point to voters. BTW she keeps adding stuff I KNOW is not valid.
Anyways, see how I ramble away from photography. So I will have a couple photos uploaded by the end of today or else..... I'm not sure or else what. Probably just blog a new excuse.
You know you need to blog earlier when your mom reminds you on the phone to make your blog entry.
Well, I have nothing else really important to say. So.... hmmm... I guess I'll go..... ok... see you tomorrow... bye....
But back to photography. Didn't sell any photos on Shutterstock yesterday, ending my pitiful streak at 6. No uploads, but I did make an effort, but I have a halfway valid excuse what is slowing me down. The TV is broken and is being sent out for repair, so we watch DVDs or Netflix streaming on the computer. So I can't work on here, so that is my excuse. I did start working on a few, and Photoshop is still open, just haven't finished them. (Angela is saying that is not a valid excuse, but this is my blog, so there)
She made me resolutions, which I am not sure are valid because I didn't make them for myself.
1. Take trash out daily. All cans.
2. Keep Pans Cabinet Straight and ordanized. (BTW this is EXACTLY as she has it)
3. Take and upload 3 new Photo's a week
4. Exercise 3 times a week
5. Be More Romantic
6. Will not make fun of Angela on my blog or will have to find a new home.
***Subject to additions when I, Angela desire!
So, the vote needs to be cast. Comment yes or no as to whether these are valid. Blog point to voters. BTW she keeps adding stuff I KNOW is not valid.
Anyways, see how I ramble away from photography. So I will have a couple photos uploaded by the end of today or else..... I'm not sure or else what. Probably just blog a new excuse.
You know you need to blog earlier when your mom reminds you on the phone to make your blog entry.
Well, I have nothing else really important to say. So.... hmmm... I guess I'll go..... ok... see you tomorrow... bye....
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Luis Takes the Lead
Luis gets another blog point, which puts the score at:
Luis - 2
Me - 1
Residents of North Carolina - 1
Residents of Beverly Hills, Ca - 1
Everyone Else - 0
Don't really have much to say, which is code for I'm about to ramble alot. Kids are back from yet another trip. They travel more then I do. Can't wait until they can use a camera. My son was pretty good at using one when he was three. He could pose and zoom as needed. The best picture we have of Angela and I is one he took. He told us where and how to sit. To be honest, you don't expect much from a three-year-old taking pictures, but they came out really good.
He was the inspiration for me doing photography. Just after he was born, I got a bonus at work, and I didn't tell my now ex-wife because she would make me give it to her to spend on "bills". I wanted to get a camera, but not just any ol' camera. I wanted a nice camera. One with the interchangeable lenses. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Canon 35mm Rebel kit and a 70-200mm lens to go with it. I brought it home and started shooting. I was the most awesome-ist photographer ever. I could take a photo of anything and it was stockworthy. I started my own stock website to sell my photos for $300-$400 dollars each. Guess what.... never sold a single one. Here's a sample of what I tried to sell (Bug in Amber):
So I took a step back and re-evaluated my photography. I also decided I couldn't sell the photos on my own so I looked for companies who could sell for me. I found Shutterstock. I submitted a few and after I sold a couple, found other companies like Bigstock and Canstock. I read the forums alot and rarely responded, just listened. I learned about Photoshop, composition, what would and wouldn't sell. I've seen companies start up and shut down. I found I am very picky with my photos. I may go to a shoot and shoot 500 photos of different poses, models, props, etc., but would only submit 10 photos, each one completely different from the other. I learned enough Photoshop to improve some older photos, such as:
Luis - 2
Me - 1
Residents of North Carolina - 1
Residents of Beverly Hills, Ca - 1
Everyone Else - 0
Don't really have much to say, which is code for I'm about to ramble alot. Kids are back from yet another trip. They travel more then I do. Can't wait until they can use a camera. My son was pretty good at using one when he was three. He could pose and zoom as needed. The best picture we have of Angela and I is one he took. He told us where and how to sit. To be honest, you don't expect much from a three-year-old taking pictures, but they came out really good.
He was the inspiration for me doing photography. Just after he was born, I got a bonus at work, and I didn't tell my now ex-wife because she would make me give it to her to spend on "bills". I wanted to get a camera, but not just any ol' camera. I wanted a nice camera. One with the interchangeable lenses. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Canon 35mm Rebel kit and a 70-200mm lens to go with it. I brought it home and started shooting. I was the most awesome-ist photographer ever. I could take a photo of anything and it was stockworthy. I started my own stock website to sell my photos for $300-$400 dollars each. Guess what.... never sold a single one. Here's a sample of what I tried to sell (Bug in Amber):
So I took a step back and re-evaluated my photography. I also decided I couldn't sell the photos on my own so I looked for companies who could sell for me. I found Shutterstock. I submitted a few and after I sold a couple, found other companies like Bigstock and Canstock. I read the forums alot and rarely responded, just listened. I learned about Photoshop, composition, what would and wouldn't sell. I've seen companies start up and shut down. I found I am very picky with my photos. I may go to a shoot and shoot 500 photos of different poses, models, props, etc., but would only submit 10 photos, each one completely different from the other. I learned enough Photoshop to improve some older photos, such as:
Here's my opinion of each company:
Shutterstock: top seller, quickest approval, best forum
iStock: picky, forum is ok, best artistic photography, most profitable
Dreamstime: forever to approve, picky, like their photo "levels" the more it sells the more it's worth
BigStock: accepted almost anything early on, starting to get picky, low payout rate
Canstock: slow seller, like their series option
Fotolia: used to approve quick, now pretty slow, used to tell you who bought, but stopped.
123RoyaltyFree: accepts almost anything, slow seller
Whenever people ask me who I shoot for, I say Shutterstock and iStock, because to me they are the most professional and respectable. So to those of you who want to start shooting, click the links in the column to the right and sign up, I'd start with Shutterstock, their 7-of-10 initial approval is the biggest lesson you'll get in the proper type of photo for stock.
Oh, while you're at it, click on some ads anywhere on the page. I got bills to pay.
Hope I rambled enough for you. If they turn this blog into a movie, I'll get Antonio Bandaras to play Luis. Hugh Jackman will play me. Rachel McAdams will play Angela. Danny DeVito will play the rest of you.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year
What a year 2010 has been so far. Zero sales, zero uploads. Woke up to my future- sis-in-law's dog vomiting under the Christmas tree. I can also swear I saw our cat smiling... But I did get to sleep in this morning without kids to wake me up. Only happens once in a blue moon (yes I know that it was a blue moon last night... did you?)
Recap of my 2009:
Fired for the first time (I had already put in my 2 week notice).
Daughter Larissa is born.
Got my first speeding ticket.
Grew my thickest beard.
Got a promotion.
Fell more in love with Angela.
Helped promote film "Exit 101"
Painted bathroom.
Deep fried for first time (Best. Fries. Ever.)
Had Pumpkin Chili for first time (Best. Food. Ever.)
Eliana entered the Terrible Two's, and is trying to put a whole new twist on the term.
Found out the movie I was in was indeed not a porn.
Ok, my goals for 2010:
Not be arrested.
Get married.
Get promoted.
Get 500 photos total on Shutterstock.
Attend two photographer get togethers.
Entertain you.
Hold my new niece, Grenelda Earls.
Win fantasy football championship.
Watch Cincinnati Bengals take Super Bowl.
Be happy.
Can't think of anything else, so I'll move on. Had an idea to shoot last night, couldn't get lighting right, plus the background I need is down at the church. Tried to improvise but didn't work. I'll try again tonight.
If you can't get enough of me, you can follow me on Facebook and Twitter.
Shutterstock tied for best month of '09. Current streak of days sold sits at 5. It was my 3rd worst month at iStock. January has a history of being my worst sales month, so don't expect much hoorays from me except for uploads. (while I was typing this out sold my first photo of 2010:)
Recap of my 2009:
Fired for the first time (I had already put in my 2 week notice).
Daughter Larissa is born.
Got my first speeding ticket.
Grew my thickest beard.
Got a promotion.
Fell more in love with Angela.
Helped promote film "Exit 101"
Painted bathroom.
Deep fried for first time (Best. Fries. Ever.)
Had Pumpkin Chili for first time (Best. Food. Ever.)
Eliana entered the Terrible Two's, and is trying to put a whole new twist on the term.
Found out the movie I was in was indeed not a porn.
Ok, my goals for 2010:
Not be arrested.
Get married.
Get promoted.
Get 500 photos total on Shutterstock.
Attend two photographer get togethers.
Entertain you.
Hold my new niece, Grenelda Earls.
Win fantasy football championship.
Watch Cincinnati Bengals take Super Bowl.
Be happy.
Can't think of anything else, so I'll move on. Had an idea to shoot last night, couldn't get lighting right, plus the background I need is down at the church. Tried to improvise but didn't work. I'll try again tonight.
If you can't get enough of me, you can follow me on Facebook and Twitter.
Shutterstock tied for best month of '09. Current streak of days sold sits at 5. It was my 3rd worst month at iStock. January has a history of being my worst sales month, so don't expect much hoorays from me except for uploads. (while I was typing this out sold my first photo of 2010:)
Well, I am going to go make some breakfast before I go to work. Got the late shift today.
Once again, Happy New Year.
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